Evolution of society and nowadays lifestyle needs have created a completely new paradigm, disconnecting us from our initial perfectly smart design and leaving childbearing and motherhood locked up in chains of dysfunctional man-made norms lacking common sense and understanding of consequences.
The perception of “normal” has been moulded recently by what is comfortable, easy or just commonly seen – no matter if that ever was meant to be like that. Motherhood is in a crises these days, but it´s not a mother to be blamed, it´s the hood that must be fixed.
We reached a point where fulfilling all children´s needs is seen as inappropriate, exaggerated and extravagant and those who decide to do that are perceived as servants or slaves. Raising children has become sort of a part-time job and is well accepted by society and mothers as long as return to work, travelling by car, morning work-outs or Friday nights with friends are not threatened.
Priorities have seriously shuffled. Kids´ needs have been compromised and on the priority list there they got stuck somewhere in between parents´ basal life functions and highly ranked social acceptance.
It became normal to deliver babies by surgery, despite our bodies have been very well designed for giving birth by their own forces and mechanisms, as all animals are. We haven´t lost this ability, we just stopped listening to our bodies, lost the intuition and started to trust someone else instead of our own instincts.
It became normal to ask doctors for permission to give birth to our babies. We started to believe we can force a body to give birth on a certain date. We order C-sections the same way we book flight tickets, just with the difference that we are more scared from flying.
It became normal to give a newborn baby away in order to rest, as if it was a heavy luggage with broken wheel. We don´t need any „room service“ to be able to take care of our babies and ourselves. We´ve got something called „hormones“ that do the job pretty well. (Yes, we might need a cleaner, a meal delivery and laundry service later.)
It became normal to follow rules and orders without questioning them. Scientists are breaking life into pieces, not able to assemble it again without a handful of spare screws, in hope they´ll find the holy Manual of Life. But we forget each of us has been given a copy when we were born. We don´t have to ask them, how we´re supposed to live and die.
It became normal to feed our babies with milk of a different animal species, as if there was no difference between those who are supposed to walk & talk one day and those who are meant to lie on the meadow and graze on dandelions (Well, actually we are meant to do that to a certain extent, but that´s another story.)
It became normal to believe human milk might be harmful for human sucklings. We believe breastfeeding can spoil them or make them sick, yet we don´t hesitate letting them suck on toxic plastics (hardly resembling anyone´s nipple), feeding them with extruded grains, instant cocktails of artificial vitamins and cow´s milk or preserved veggies and meat (probably from the calf for which there was no milk left anymore).
It became normal to separate our babies at night in their little beds, as if the world was safer after sunset and the little ones ready to cope with all the darkness and stillness alone. If they were meant to fall asleep holding a pink fluffy teddy bear, mothers would have had much longer, much softer and much pinker hair.
It became normal to fasten babies into strollers and car seats in order to manage logistics in desired speed, but they don´t care about our full schedule or meetings. The little ones need to hear mother´s heartbeat, not the car engine or sound of cobbles.
It became normal to believe we are not part of the Nature, perfectly designed for living and “ready to use”. We need to step back, look inside and finally see how far off the track we have gone.